


Still Healing

by teamchaosprez



Series: Self Indulgent Nondespair AU [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-08 21:36:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14702820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teamchaosprez/pseuds/teamchaosprez
Summary: Not that she would say anything out loud, but the last six months of Peko’s life had been some of the hardest.





	Still Healing

**Author's Note:**

> this is a part of my kid fic series, tho you don't need to read the other to understand what's going on! anyway i love kuzupeko

Not that she would say anything out loud, but the last six months of Peko’s life had been some of the hardest. She’d read extensively about pregnancy before she and Fuyuhiko ever agreed to start trying, even hunted down her biological parents to demand their family history and make sure that there were no genetic illnesses or other issues that could affect her future child - or children. It hadn’t exactly been easy, facing the people who made a child only to abandon her to be used as a tool for the most vulnerable years of her life, but for the sake of her family, she did it.

She found it ever so slightly amusing that even after all these years, after the therapists and counsellors that Fuyuhiko hired for her to work with long before they got together to aid with her recovery from the conditioning his late parents put her through for so long, she was still going through extreme lengths and pushing through her own emotional problems for the sake of the Kuzuryu clan. This time, though, it was different in a significant way.

This time, she was making such sacrifices for a Kuzuryu not because she was just a tool, but because she was going to be a mother. Instead of a member of the family giving her orders and commanding her, one was going to be growing inside of her. She was going to be having a baby, not only for the clan she was so loyal to, but with the man she loved so much as well. Even with all the difficulties she had to deal with, it was exciting, she couldn’t lie. 

Until, of course, she started being nauseous at every hour of every day, constantly exhausted, with tender breasts and an aching back. Her hormones were running her ragged, and she was mortified by how cranky she was constantly; having a hard time looking as emotionless as she always was. Her husband was frightened and confused by the sudden change in her attitude, and she could see it, and he insisted on waiting on her hand and foot, taking care of her every need - which she honestly found mortifying.

She hadn’t struggled with thoughts that she was just a tool in a long time, but with her belly swollen with a baby and Fuyuhiko taking care of almost everything in the house while refusing to leave more than necessary so that she could get rest, she felt… a little useless. A little frustrated. Peko wasn’t raised to sit idly by and be a housewife, but that’s what she was doing nonetheless, preparing to raise her children and deciding to avoid work so that she could devote as much time as possible to them.

They decided to find out as early as possible what their child would be, and found out they were going to have a daughter. Peko had been hoping for a son, wanting to provide a young man to become the heir of the Kuzuryu clan, but she supposed that they could always try again. Fuyuhiko said that he didn’t care, that regardless of their child’s gender or identity he would adore them so long as they made her together. Peko thought that was sweet, and she had no idea that her husband could be that sappy.

She heard from the small amount of her friends that had children by now that the first pregnancy was not easy, and it only took a couple of weeks after finding out before she realized they were right. She was bloated, she was cranky, she was sick all the time, she was craving foods that she never would have dreamed of eating before she was with child, and the magic of pregnancy was completely lost on her even very early on. She was excited for her daughter, of course, and she loved her already, but she honestly couldn’t say that she was enjoying the process of  _ growing  _ her.

That wasn’t even going into the severe anxiety that she was feeling, though, regarding when the baby actually  _ arrived. _ She was worried that she would fuck her daughter up for life; she didn’t exactly have a good example for model parenting, after all, having been conditioned to be a tool for the entirety of her life and Fuyuhiko’s parents weren’t exactly ideal with their own children, either. She was worried that the baby would be born unhealthy, that her birth parents had lied to her when she asked and her daughter would be born with some form of abnormality.

Even if the child was born happy and healthy, though, what if she made some mistake and killed her on accident? Peko never thought of herself as a gentle person, regardless of whether or not Fuyuhiko told her otherwise. Her anxiety was as endless as her nausea, and she knew that the stress wasn’t good for her  _ or _ the baby, but she couldn’t seem to force it down, so she made an attempt to hide it from her husband so that he wouldn’t worry or get frustrated with her.

At six months pregnant, she was put on bed rest, the doctor explaining that the baby was getting pretty big and her stress was putting her at risk of early labor. Being restricted to a bed and a television certainly didn’t help, as she was alone with her thoughts a majority of the time and now she had something else to worry about as well. The last thing in the world she wanted was to go into labor early and have the baby get hurt because she came out before she was ready.

She didn’t especially enjoy anything about most of the programs on television, finding it a bit of a waste of time and brain power; she had been through far more exciting things in her life, considering she grew up a hitwoman for a powerful yakuza family, but the mindless entertainment was one of the only things she could think of to do, considering she had read every book in the house at least twice in the span of her pregnancy while trying to relax.

Peko wasn’t even paying attention to the reality show on the television, a little bit zoned out as she tried to pass the time, seconds more like hours in her boredom. She heard the front door of the house slam shut, and she perked up a little - maybe Fuyuhiko being home would be a sufficient distraction from her boredom, as she couldn’t even focus on any negative thoughts at the moment. She tracked her husband’s footsteps through the house until he finally reached their bedroom.

“Hey,” he greeted her with a little smile, shrugging his suit jacket off before tossing it to the side. He crawled onto the bed and laid down next to her, wrapping his arms around her and resting his head on her shoulder; he was still significantly shorter than her, but Peko didn’t mind. If anything, she found it… cute. For a few moments, the two of them remained in a moment of quiet domestic calm, and part of the former swordswoman wanted it to stay that way - but her husband broke the silence rather quickly. “So, how was your day today?” he asked, and she looked to him to find hazel eyes looking up at her with enough adoration that she could feel a bright pink color spreading across her face.

“Long and boring,” she answered honestly, leaning against him easily and grimacing slightly with discomfort as she felt their unborn daughter kick. She was already so strong; Peko wouldn’t be surprised if she literally kicked her way through her mother’s womb before her due date was anywhere near. The former hitwoman felt a wave of anxiety as that devolved into a string of thoughts about premature birth; she was in her third trimester now, so if she did anything at all wrong, she could pop at any time. God, why was she even thinking about how bored she was? She was on bed rest to protect herself and her daughter, she should have been happy to stay in bed…

“You okay?” Fuyuhiko’s voice broke her out of her thoughts, and she blinked twice, looking back to him to find a concerned expression on her husband’s face. Another wave of guilt crossed over her; here she was, making him worry about her over some silly little thoughts, over nothing. She wasn’t even good enough to worry about. She felt his hand in her hair, pushing silver locks gently out of her face, and her red eyes looked up to meet his. “You can talk to me.”

“I’m fine,” she answered, wanting her voice to be strong and certain, but only coming across as shaky and weak. “I was just thinking, that’s all… about how I don’t know for sure whether or not I’m carrying any genetic issues that could be passed on to our daughter, and the doctor said that it’s a possible that I could become a high risk pregnancy so it’s kind of awful that I’m so bored and want so badly to get up and move, and I can’t stop thinking about how I might be a terrible mother because I don’t have any experience to go off of and I didn’t exactly have a smooth childhood to base raising a kid off of… God, I’m probably going to fuck her up…” Her words had devolved into an endless stream now, working their way out of her mouth before she even had a chance to filter them.

“Stop.”

His interruption was sudden, and Peko flinched. The answer  _ Yes, young master, _ was on her lips, though she stopped herself before she could actually say it, appalled at herself for even inching towards her old habits. Fuyuhiko blinked, apparently realizing the forceful tone he’d spoken with before sighing heavily and taking both of her hands in his. “Sorry,” he apologized, his voice softer now. “Look, Peko, just the fact that you’re worried is enough to tell me that you’ll be a good mother, I promise. Your instincts will take over once she’s born, and beyond that, you’re such a caring and wonderful person. I’m sure she’ll be born happy and healthy and she’ll have a wonderful life.”

Peko bit her lip, and rested her forehead against Fuyuhiko’s, closing her eyes and letting out a soft sigh. He pressed a gentle kiss against her cheek, and she relaxed. She was soothed by his words, though she was pretty concerned that she had eased back into her old way of thinking, even though it was so long ago that she was considered a tool or an object by  _ anyone _ and she was supposed to have moved past that by now. Fuyuhiko had made sure that she was taken care of and mentally recovering before even considering getting into a romantic relationship with her.

“Do you need to visit your psychiatrist about these thoughts?” he asked gently, pulling away from her and looking at her with sharp hazel eyes. She wasn’t used to him being this soft with anyone, even her; he was so quick tempered and rough with almost anyone, and though he had been showing his more caring and gentle side to her more and more since they started trying for a child a year ago, but it still surprised her a little bit when he pulled this.

“Maybe,” she admitted quietly. She didn’t like to say that she was weak or admit that she needed help, but she knew that she did, and she was trying to get better with asking for things. The beginning of her mental health recovery in general was rough, and now that she was going to be a mother, she needed to nip these negative dips right in the bud, right?

“I’m sure it’ll be fine if you leave the house once to go see someone about your mental health,” Fuyuhiko kissed her gently on the cheek again, before shifting in order to face her swollen belly and gently poke at her baby bump, addressing their unborn daughter in a playfully stern voice. “You be good, okay? You love your mama, don’t you?”

The baby gave a rather harsh kick, and Peko let out a little laugh. She was at least ninety percent sure that she was just responding to the familiar sound of her father’s voice, but it was nice to consider that she was moving around to reassure her, too. “See? She loves you. I’ll go call and set up an appointment for you, and then I’m making dinner, okay?”

“So domestic,” she teased lightly, and Fuyuhiko shot her a playful little glare before leaving the room. Peko leaned against the headboard of their bed and closed her eyes, hands resting on the swell of her stomach as she found herself at ease for the first time in a while.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are welcome if you enjoyed!


End file.
